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September 09

time moves on and nothing stays the same...

Just a thought... lots of things have changed lately.... things that I thought would stay the same didn't, somethings I thought would change didn't...

life is never predictable... but it's the unpredictability that makes everything so much more interesting... sometimes the changes in life is boring, sometimes they are worth thinking about, sometimes u don't even notice until it's already changed a lot of times...

but anyway, I'm just an observer... looking at the changes in life and the people's response to them while enjoying the view... life is much easier this way...

旁观自清

September 30

somehow...

this little shitty messenger is working for me again... so... maybe people can get in touch with me again??
 
but then... cant think of anyone who would want to get in touch with me anyway...
 
so...
 
good night i guess
January 19

this is pretty... accurate, specially the last few lines...

性別: 男 生辰:1984年8月26日 1:30

八字
 時   日   月   年 
 正印  比肩  比肩  食神 

 辛   壬   壬   甲  
 丑   辰   申   子  

 正官  七殺  偏印  劫財 
 劫財  傷官  比肩     
 正印  劫財  七殺     

您是屬於大河命
◎您是自在的大河,喜歡過自己的生活,不喜歡被拘束。才華出眾,喜歡有仁慈,守承諾的人。聰明靈敏,學習能力強,觀察敏銳,但是缺乏執行力與行動力。◎

根據命理來分析您的個性,潛意識,以及行為模式,您是屬於「大河命」,因此您天生具有大河水的特性,聰明有才華,學習能力強,觀察敏銳,喜歡探究事物背後的道理,思路清晰,有獨具一格的判斷與分析能力,但是缺乏執行力與行動力。大河水波濤洶湧,一下流到這邊,一下又彎到那邊,因此您的思路十分活躍,一下想做這個,一下想做那個,想像力豐富,但是缺乏持續力,容易流於空談。大河水由小支流匯集而成,流向大海,中途有些會形成雲霧,或化成雨水,或流入湖泊,或進入地下水,因此您能夠以不同的角色來適應週遭的環境,不論多惡劣,您也能漸漸適應,進而改變環境。您對於環境的變動有很強的適應力,所以容易給人表裡不一的觀感,但其實是一般人不容易想像您的思維模式。大河水川流不息,不容易停下腳步,因此您思考能力強,但執行能力弱,您對週遭生活有很多的不滿與期待,也有能力改善,但就是不容易付諸行動。

此外,您喜歡平易近人,親切友善的人,不喜歡油嘴滑舌,虛情假意的人,而能讓您佩服的人,多半是成熟穩重,誠懇踏實的人。您的一生,像大河水一樣,無論流向何方,也能保有赤子之心,但是大河水也會經歷考驗,有時會結冰,有時會混濁,這些都是您一生中最大的磨練,只要您經得起外在的考驗,不怨天尤人,進而學習成長,一旦通過考驗,您的生活會更上一層樓,富貴綿長。

◎您本命五行水太旺,體質比較寒冷,所以身體比較弱,容易手腳冰冷。◎

根據命理分析,您天生腎水系統比較差,所以容易感覺疲倦,冬天常常手腳冰冷,體力似乎不如人,因此無法從事需要大量勞力的工作。在年輕的時候不會有太大的問題,但是如果您現在不照顧循環及泌尿系統,隨著年紀越來越大就很容易有血壓、貧血、心臟的問題,甚至容易導致失眠、憂鬱、腦神經衰弱、聽力異常、腎功能異常、膀胱炎、尿道炎、攝護腺腫大、或其他心血管功能疾病等問題。因此您不能過度勞累,要維持正常作息,早睡早起,才可以保護先天比較弱的腎水系統。

此外,所謂「病從口入」,人類大部分的疾病來源都跟飲食有關,根據中醫理論,食物可以分成金、木、水、火、土等五種五行。您可能偏好重鹹口味的食物,調味料也用很重,因此,您的細胞中,充滿太多「水」的五行,會導致健康,財運與事業的不圓滿,尤其重口味的食物吃多了會傷腎,建議您平時最好能飲食均衡,菜色均衡,養成清淡的口胃,調理食物的方式也要由多油炒改為多蒸煮,減少鹽分和油脂的攝取量,才有助於您陰陽五行調和,生活美滿幸福。

◎但是您八字缺火,心血管的機能也比較弱,容易有血壓,貧血,心跳慢,容易疲累,手腳冰冷的問題。◎

根據命理分析,您天生心血管功能比較差,所以容易感覺疲倦,冬天常常手腳冰冷,體力似乎不如人,因此無法從事需要大量勞力的工作。在年輕的時候不會有太大的問題,頂多是長青春痘,口舌生瘡等問題,但隨著年紀越來越大,心血管功能需要更多的照顧,不然很容易有血壓、貧血、心跳不正常的問題,甚至容易導致心血管功能異常、內分泌系統異常、腸阻塞脹氣、心律不整、心室肥大、腦溢血、中風、視力病變等問題。因此您不能過度勞累,要維持正常作息,早睡早起,才可以保護先天比較弱的心血管功能。此外,請您要定時檢查心血管功能,更要注意家族裡是否有遺傳性的心血管病史,由於體質偏向心虛血弱,所以盡量不要喝冰的飲料,以免傷了元氣。

此外,您的精神體力都比一般人弱,也缺乏活力。您的朋友們晚上熬夜不睡覺,隔天體能還能應付,但是您只要晚上熬個夜,或玩個通宵,隔天一定很虛弱。因為體力不足,所以您可能比較喜歡靜態的活動,靜態的休閒,不適合成天往戶外跑。您也比較憂愁善感,腦神經比較衰弱,睡眠品質常常不太理想。如果您想改變這種現象,一定要早睡早起,最好每天晚上十一點前就寢。此外,最好多做日光浴,多曬太陽,時間不用長,每天五分鐘就足夠了,但是要避開下午一點到三點陽光最烈的時間。只要您能持之以恆,那您的命運將會有很大的改變,身體健康,財運順利,事業圓滿,家庭幸福。

◎簡易愛情分析,您是屬於有幫夫運的愛情。您的愛情不是屬於濃情密意的那一型,她比較強勢也有主見,會對您的人生有許多善意的安排與建議,您們會遇到許多溝通上的問題,需要您們以智慧與包容來一一克服。◎

您愛情的模式,根據命理分析,您對於心儀的異性,很容易心動,但不容易成功,常常無疾而終,因為要兩個人都一見鍾情確實有點難。一般來說,異性對您的第一印象都不會太深,您是需要經過交往的階段,異性才會發現您的優點與內在美。換句話說,您很容易第一眼就喜歡上一個人,卻不容易經過長時間相處而喜歡上一個人。相反地,您的戀愛對象不容易第一眼就喜歡上您,卻很可能經過長時間相處而喜歡上您。因此,如果您在等待美好的愛情,您可以試著把自己的內在美透過各種方式表現出來,多參加各種活動,多培養各種興趣,多接觸不同人群,如此您會在不知不覺中,讓您的內在美隨時展現,愛情才會更順利。

在人生的旅程中,您的戀愛或結婚對象很有可能是先經由親友介紹或相親而認識,因為您對於愛情比較不太有經驗,也不善於包裝自己、行銷自己,有時更怯於表達自己的感情,碰到喜歡的人也多半停留在欣賞的階段,不容易積極主動的展開追求,更不會死纏爛打,因此不僅錯失許多機會,更在心中產生既期待又怕受傷害的感覺,反而更不容易擦出愛的火花。您若是對象還沒有出現,不要心急,在您身邊確定有人正喜歡著您,只要真心誠意去追求,幸福就在您身邊。

◎簡易財運事業分析,您不容易守財,也不容易儲蓄,每次累積到一定的財富就會發生一些事情讓您花錢。◎

根據命理分析,您不容易守財,也不容易儲蓄,每次累積到一定的財富就會發生一些事情讓您花錢。您對於生命比較達觀,因此不會對自己,也不會對家人或朋友太小氣。在您手頭比較緊的時候,該花的錢您還是會花,不會一毛不拔;在您手頭比較寬裕的時候,您花錢會很大方,不會對自己、家人或朋友小氣,正因為如此,您當然不容易存錢。此外,您很容易因為朋友的介紹而做了某些投資,而且常常虧本。這是因為您的個性交遊廣闊,也認識很多人,所以當朋友來找您投資時,您不容易分辨風險,也不容易拒絕,所以當然很容易虧本。如果以一生的時間來衡量,您今生大部份的財富會被您拿來做自己想做的事情,您會認為您使用過的金錢才是您真正擁有的財富。之後,您不會遺留太多的財富給後代子孫。
all are pretty accurate except the part where it says my stamina is worse than most people... i think i am pretty good at sport.... but my hands and feets do get real cold in winter...
January 13

what i learnt from aikido, taichi and JKD...

oh well... since nobody is reading my blog anyway, so i am just gonna put all my boring shitty thoughts here, hehehehe....
 
sometimes most people think of martial art as some way of killing people, or making one feel strong or confident, and hence, only concentrate on the physical appearance of such forms of self expression... which, in my point of view is 1, very narrow; 2, missed the point of true martial art; 3, sadly, in some ways, correct... however, if the violence is the only thing in your mind when you try to learn such arts, then aggression is the only thing that this will give you, and aggression is something that cause suffer in life... and therefore maybe, just maybe, people should be looking at this arts in more than just one angle... this is the first thing i have to say about that...(not the last of coz, so... u better close the window if ur bored already, hehehe)
 
now, lets get to more specific things related to Aikido and taiji...
 
first there are lots of pins in Aikido (meaning you control your opponent in different ways), and they are named by numbers, such as first form, second form, u get the idea...
 
first form, the least aggressive or the most aggressive form depending on the point of view. oh well, what i learnt from this form is that if you want to work something out, or win a fight, u first need to stop fighting yourself. people are constantly fighting with themselves either conciously or unconciously, and i do that all the time... and if you look at my life you dont see many seccesses... which is a good example of how things shouldnt be done.... hehehe.... anyway, the thing is how can you do anything right if you dont even know yourself that the thing ur doing is right??? if you are dealing with a choice, and you feel that you should follow one way, follow it, and if you come to a point where you see there is no way the choice u made is the best choice, change.... making mistakes is a part of people's lives....
 
which leads to what i learnt from the second form -- when something is causing you pain, dont run away from it, go to it, and face it, coz when ur close to the source of pain(well by pain i mean anything that is not really good for u...) u can see it clearly and that is where u can see a way of avoiding that pain in the future. Running away from the pain only cause more pain, and by doing so, giving up the chance of analysing the problem. Furthermore, there is more strength needed to  run into the pain than to run away from it, and there are a lot of chances to show your strength, one way is to cause pain, which i think is the furthest thing from strength, but some people believe that give them the sense of strength... another one is decide not to cause the pain even though you can, which i think is real strength... somewhere in between is to face the pain, and embrace it, and all of a sudden... u dont feel the pain anymore, or in the case of aikido and most real situations, the pain become bearable, and while feeling the pain, ur brain is not completely occupied by the pain or by looking for a way out, which will eventually cause more pain... instead, when you embrace the pain, u see the true nature of the pain and will eventually conquer the pain...
 
now that first 2 are done, move on to the third form. what i learnt in the third form, is more kinda general things about life... life goes up and down, sometimes it throws shits at ur face, sometimes it just puts u in a pit and shits on u... but there is always an up and a down, but then... on the other side, when ur up high, there is always a chance to go down... so, if ur down, there is always hope... if ur up... dont lose urself in the situation, look at the reason why ur up now(sometimes is pure luck, but luck dont go to those who have done nothing), and prepare for the worst always, its always better to have unnecessary preparations than to go into things unprepared...
 
now the 4th form, there are 2 things i have to say about this form. 1, sometimes all that needs to make the difference between good and bad is just one little thing put into the right place or the wrong place. so dont ignore the little details in life, they make big differences. 2, if you do all the things right, that little extra is just a little extra, so, make sure you get the big picture right first, then get the small things right.
 
now these are the pinnings i have done so far... lets talk about the throwings(meaning you smash ur opponent to the ground...), there is only one thing i learnt from these. that is you should be like living water... this goes for taiji as well. Now, living water, like the one in the stream or river in the sea, it's always flowing, and it's always moving, not becoz it is so hard it just crash anything on its path, its becoz it always find the space where it can go, if it hits something, it change direction, move around the blocking thing, there is then a whole new path for it. even when the blockade is big and there is no apparent way of going round it, there is always a crack somewhere. so, in life, when there is a problem in front of u, look for the weekness in it, then go through it there... that is the flowing water going towards the sea or a lake. there is another type of living water--sea water, the moving water in sea is mostly seen as waves, washing the beach or shores, that is when water can be seen at its more aggressive form, as it hits the shore with all the force gravity grants it. but if you look closely, the water doesnt go in only one direction, it draws back before striking, by draw back, what it really does is to absorb all the force reflected by the shore(or coastal rocks whatever u call them) then when all the forces are cancelled or in unison, it strikes, thus it strikes more in a circular way than a dead straight motion. u may ask what the hell has that got to do with anything... but then that is where people can learn a thing or 2 from different matial arts, in aikido and taiji, we move like water, in a lot of the throws, the opponent is the wave/force reflected from the rocks, thus we let them go in that direction but at the same time absorb the force, redirecting it and then when it is in unison with our force, use it to strike back. compare to other things such as karate, which will go for a straight punch somewhere. of cause in life that is also the case, people see rocks in their path of life all the time, sometimes there is no way round it, and the only way to cross is to crash it, u hit it with all ur force and hope to break it, there are 2 things that can happen, one, it breaks, ur through, the other, it doesnt break. now if you only go straight, and it doent break, all the force reflected back will be doing all the damage to u, and sends u back to your starting piont, and u have to spend all the time to store enough energy to force another strike, which will either break the rock, or send u back again... but if ur go in a water way, you go with the reflection, and when you have absorbbed the reflected force, ur strong again, but not really damaged and most importantly u have something left, then u can strike again, with all ur force again, needing less time spent in the strength restoring process. so after all those things said, the conclusion is(to me anyway) when something doesnt work, go back and see why it doesn't, and when u have absorbed the mistake(meaning u learned something from it) u strike at the problem again, repeat it until u crack the shit; this is compared to giving everything u have to strike it, then take nothing back, meaning u dont learn from the mistakes, and just think of a new way of cracking the rock everytime u fail, which will work eventually, but more tiring... known as the 'brute force' method in code breaking(the most powerful method in existence if you have a powerful enough computer...), which leads to the final understanding of 'the stronger, the better'.... of coz here i am not saying which is better, i am just saying which i would choose(presonal taste i guess).
 
now that living water is done, and i think that is all i learnt from aikido and taiji. but then there is also the dead water, this is what Jeet Kun Do(JKD), founded by Bruce Lee, has its say about it. now, Jeet Kun Do is not really a form of martial art, it is, more of a mentallity of how you should train, and a physical expression of Bruce Lee's understanding of human or life. Now, look at an example of dead water, a glass of water is an example of dead water, trapped, no appearent way of going through the glass, but is it really the case?? not quite, people may drink it, then u think it is trapped in u?? not quite, it merely changed into something in u, and eventually, it will go through u, without doing any damage to u(done quite a bit of good to u actually...), then it carry on with its jouney. now lets say ur just a sad freaking bastard who just want to see the water trapped in there and prove that it is trapped... but then if you leave it for long enough, it will be gone... in physics, it is called evaporation, changing from liquid to air, in fact the molecules are not changed, what is changed is just how they interact with each other... but lets forget about the physics... the reason i talked all these bullshit is because, just to illustrate the power of water, as long as there is an opening where it can go, either up, down, sideway, wherever, it can move, by going around the rock, crash the rock, or change its form entirely, but never changing the fact that it's 'water'. thus leads to the conclusion today-- be like water, dont be restricted by the form ur in, form is not the physical form but the way of thinking, be alive like water, change form when the form ur in cannot deal with the problem, life can be a lot easier if u start living without a fixed form.... but then, if you actually think it is easy, it is not, for one to be like water, you need to understand more than just one form, thus if you only know how to cook, and u dont know shit about electricity, u simply cant change form to solve the problem when the microwave's fuse blows up, so... learn all that is useful for u to express urself or to help urself, then forget about the categories, merge them within you, take no forms as form, let limitlessness be ur limit(something like that... Bruce Lee said that...)
 
hehehe... said too much already... but luckily if ur have actually read this bloody blog, i am finished.... thanks for reading all this bull shit if u have btw... not many people gives a shit about my space anymore...
 
vic 
October 09

just a few words....

 hm... new term starts now....
 
actually i aint gonna say anything about this new term shit, but just wish to say something to those friends of mine who finds life is filled with frustration rather than what u wish u have or it just doesnt seem to do anything to make u feel good....
 
and i am not going to say things like everything is gonna be ok or bullshits like that... coz i aint a bloody seer or fortune teller and i dont know what is going to happen and telling anybody about the future is just lying... and i dont think i like lying to friends...
 
so... what i am going to say... is just that in my point of view... life is not something u should enjoy... it is something that u live through, and to me... the important thing is that u should just live through it and when shit happens, whether it is caused by urself of someone else, there isnt much point in complaining and pushing all the resposibility of making life normal again to anybody than urself... and of coz any shit that happens is something that will make u suffer in someway... but is suffering bad??? if u have watched little miss sunshine, one of the line in the film is that all the suffering of life is the best moments in ur life... when u feel good and have all the money u need and sometimes more than u need, and u dont even need to worry about what to do next, that is when ur life is officially dead... what i mean by life is the period of finding urself in this chaotic world and seeking the sense of existence in a place where nobody gives a shit about anybody but themselves or gives no more shit to anybody else anyway... but dont get me wrong... suffering throughout ur whole life is the worst thing for any motal being... since all mortal try to find a way to become immortal, at least immortal in people's hearts, people like jimi hendrix, bruce lee, hitler, churchill, ghandi, and many more... became immortal in people's memory, whether it is because they are too good or too 'evil', only the ones who have overwhelmingly more skills or luck than ordinary men can achieve this however.... so... being an ordinary man such as myself, the only thing happens is that u live through ur life, then u die.... but there is always some way anybody will suffer... the only difference is how u deal with it, face it with a grin or hide behind all the bad feelings and do nothing but complaining or blaming on the bad lucks?? personally i should prefer to just laugh about it and get on with the problems and if the problem gets worse... tough luck.... just get on with the worse shit and see how it turns out...
 
sometimes whether u feel extremely shit or ok about some shits is more of a choice....
 
and the choice is yours....