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累....撑着....September 09 time moves on and nothing stays the same...Just a thought... lots of things have changed lately.... things that I thought would stay the same didn't, somethings I thought would change didn't... life is never predictable... but it's the unpredictability that makes everything so much more interesting... sometimes the changes in life is boring, sometimes they are worth thinking about, sometimes u don't even notice until it's already changed a lot of times... but anyway, I'm just an observer... looking at the changes in life and the people's response to them while enjoying the view... life is much easier this way... 旁观自清 September 30 somehow...this little shitty messenger is working for me again... so... maybe people can get in touch with me again??
but then... cant think of anyone who would want to get in touch with me anyway...
so...
good night i guess January 19 this is pretty... accurate, specially the last few lines...
all are pretty accurate except the part where it says my stamina is worse than most people... i think i am pretty good at sport.... but my hands and feets do get real cold in winter... January 13 what i learnt from aikido, taichi and JKD...oh well... since nobody is reading my blog anyway, so i am just gonna put all my boring shitty thoughts here, hehehehe....
sometimes most people think of martial art as some way of killing people, or making one feel strong or confident, and hence, only concentrate on the physical appearance of such forms of self expression... which, in my point of view is 1, very narrow; 2, missed the point of true martial art; 3, sadly, in some ways, correct... however, if the violence is the only thing in your mind when you try to learn such arts, then aggression is the only thing that this will give you, and aggression is something that cause suffer in life... and therefore maybe, just maybe, people should be looking at this arts in more than just one angle... this is the first thing i have to say about that...(not the last of coz, so... u better close the window if ur bored already, hehehe)
now, lets get to more specific things related to Aikido and taiji...
first there are lots of pins in Aikido (meaning you control your opponent in different ways), and they are named by numbers, such as first form, second form, u get the idea...
first form, the least aggressive or the most aggressive form depending on the point of view. oh well, what i learnt from this form is that if you want to work something out, or win a fight, u first need to stop fighting yourself. people are constantly fighting with themselves either conciously or unconciously, and i do that all the time... and if you look at my life you dont see many seccesses... which is a good example of how things shouldnt be done.... hehehe.... anyway, the thing is how can you do anything right if you dont even know yourself that the thing ur doing is right??? if you are dealing with a choice, and you feel that you should follow one way, follow it, and if you come to a point where you see there is no way the choice u made is the best choice, change.... making mistakes is a part of people's lives....
which leads to what i learnt from the second form -- when something is causing you pain, dont run away from it, go to it, and face it, coz when ur close to the source of pain(well by pain i mean anything that is not really good for u...) u can see it clearly and that is where u can see a way of avoiding that pain in the future. Running away from the pain only cause more pain, and by doing so, giving up the chance of analysing the problem. Furthermore, there is more strength needed to run into the pain than to run away from it, and there are a lot of chances to show your strength, one way is to cause pain, which i think is the furthest thing from strength, but some people believe that give them the sense of strength... another one is decide not to cause the pain even though you can, which i think is real strength... somewhere in between is to face the pain, and embrace it, and all of a sudden... u dont feel the pain anymore, or in the case of aikido and most real situations, the pain become bearable, and while feeling the pain, ur brain is not completely occupied by the pain or by looking for a way out, which will eventually cause more pain... instead, when you embrace the pain, u see the true nature of the pain and will eventually conquer the pain...
now that first 2 are done, move on to the third form. what i learnt in the third form, is more kinda general things about life... life goes up and down, sometimes it throws shits at ur face, sometimes it just puts u in a pit and shits on u... but there is always an up and a down, but then... on the other side, when ur up high, there is always a chance to go down... so, if ur down, there is always hope... if ur up... dont lose urself in the situation, look at the reason why ur up now(sometimes is pure luck, but luck dont go to those who have done nothing), and prepare for the worst always, its always better to have unnecessary preparations than to go into things unprepared...
now the 4th form, there are 2 things i have to say about this form. 1, sometimes all that needs to make the difference between good and bad is just one little thing put into the right place or the wrong place. so dont ignore the little details in life, they make big differences. 2, if you do all the things right, that little extra is just a little extra, so, make sure you get the big picture right first, then get the small things right.
now these are the pinnings i have done so far... lets talk about the throwings(meaning you smash ur opponent to the ground...), there is only one thing i learnt from these. that is you should be like living water... this goes for taiji as well. Now, living water, like the one in the stream or river in the sea, it's always flowing, and it's always moving, not becoz it is so hard it just crash anything on its path, its becoz it always find the space where it can go, if it hits something, it change direction, move around the blocking thing, there is then a whole new path for it. even when the blockade is big and there is no apparent way of going round it, there is always a crack somewhere. so, in life, when there is a problem in front of u, look for the weekness in it, then go through it there... that is the flowing water going towards the sea or a lake. there is another type of living water--sea water, the moving water in sea is mostly seen as waves, washing the beach or shores, that is when water can be seen at its more aggressive form, as it hits the shore with all the force gravity grants it. but if you look closely, the water doesnt go in only one direction, it draws back before striking, by draw back, what it really does is to absorb all the force reflected by the shore(or coastal rocks whatever u call them) then when all the forces are cancelled or in unison, it strikes, thus it strikes more in a circular way than a dead straight motion. u may ask what the hell has that got to do with anything... but then that is where people can learn a thing or 2 from different matial arts, in aikido and taiji, we move like water, in a lot of the throws, the opponent is the wave/force reflected from the rocks, thus we let them go in that direction but at the same time absorb the force, redirecting it and then when it is in unison with our force, use it to strike back. compare to other things such as karate, which will go for a straight punch somewhere. of cause in life that is also the case, people see rocks in their path of life all the time, sometimes there is no way round it, and the only way to cross is to crash it, u hit it with all ur force and hope to break it, there are 2 things that can happen, one, it breaks, ur through, the other, it doesnt break. now if you only go straight, and it doent break, all the force reflected back will be doing all the damage to u, and sends u back to your starting piont, and u have to spend all the time to store enough energy to force another strike, which will either break the rock, or send u back again... but if ur go in a water way, you go with the reflection, and when you have absorbbed the reflected force, ur strong again, but not really damaged and most importantly u have something left, then u can strike again, with all ur force again, needing less time spent in the strength restoring process. so after all those things said, the conclusion is(to me anyway) when something doesnt work, go back and see why it doesn't, and when u have absorbed the mistake(meaning u learned something from it) u strike at the problem again, repeat it until u crack the shit; this is compared to giving everything u have to strike it, then take nothing back, meaning u dont learn from the mistakes, and just think of a new way of cracking the rock everytime u fail, which will work eventually, but more tiring... known as the 'brute force' method in code breaking(the most powerful method in existence if you have a powerful enough computer...), which leads to the final understanding of 'the stronger, the better'.... of coz here i am not saying which is better, i am just saying which i would choose(presonal taste i guess).
now that living water is done, and i think that is all i learnt from aikido and taiji. but then there is also the dead water, this is what Jeet Kun Do(JKD), founded by Bruce Lee, has its say about it. now, Jeet Kun Do is not really a form of martial art, it is, more of a mentallity of how you should train, and a physical expression of Bruce Lee's understanding of human or life. Now, look at an example of dead water, a glass of water is an example of dead water, trapped, no appearent way of going through the glass, but is it really the case?? not quite, people may drink it, then u think it is trapped in u?? not quite, it merely changed into something in u, and eventually, it will go through u, without doing any damage to u(done quite a bit of good to u actually...), then it carry on with its jouney. now lets say ur just a sad freaking bastard who just want to see the water trapped in there and prove that it is trapped... but then if you leave it for long enough, it will be gone... in physics, it is called evaporation, changing from liquid to air, in fact the molecules are not changed, what is changed is just how they interact with each other... but lets forget about the physics... the reason i talked all these bullshit is because, just to illustrate the power of water, as long as there is an opening where it can go, either up, down, sideway, wherever, it can move, by going around the rock, crash the rock, or change its form entirely, but never changing the fact that it's 'water'. thus leads to the conclusion today-- be like water, dont be restricted by the form ur in, form is not the physical form but the way of thinking, be alive like water, change form when the form ur in cannot deal with the problem, life can be a lot easier if u start living without a fixed form.... but then, if you actually think it is easy, it is not, for one to be like water, you need to understand more than just one form, thus if you only know how to cook, and u dont know shit about electricity, u simply cant change form to solve the problem when the microwave's fuse blows up, so... learn all that is useful for u to express urself or to help urself, then forget about the categories, merge them within you, take no forms as form, let limitlessness be ur limit(something like that... Bruce Lee said that...)
hehehe... said too much already... but luckily if ur have actually read this bloody blog, i am finished.... thanks for reading all this bull shit if u have btw... not many people gives a shit about my space anymore...
vic October 09 just a few words.... hm... new term starts now....
actually i aint gonna say anything about this new term shit, but just wish to say something to those friends of mine who finds life is filled with frustration rather than what u wish u have or it just doesnt seem to do anything to make u feel good....
and i am not going to say things like everything is gonna be ok or bullshits like that... coz i aint a bloody seer or fortune teller and i dont know what is going to happen and telling anybody about the future is just lying... and i dont think i like lying to friends...
so... what i am going to say... is just that in my point of view... life is not something u should enjoy... it is something that u live through, and to me... the important thing is that u should just live through it and when shit happens, whether it is caused by urself of someone else, there isnt much point in complaining and pushing all the resposibility of making life normal again to anybody than urself... and of coz any shit that happens is something that will make u suffer in someway... but is suffering bad??? if u have watched little miss sunshine, one of the line in the film is that all the suffering of life is the best moments in ur life... when u feel good and have all the money u need and sometimes more than u need, and u dont even need to worry about what to do next, that is when ur life is officially dead... what i mean by life is the period of finding urself in this chaotic world and seeking the sense of existence in a place where nobody gives a shit about anybody but themselves or gives no more shit to anybody else anyway... but dont get me wrong... suffering throughout ur whole life is the worst thing for any motal being... since all mortal try to find a way to become immortal, at least immortal in people's hearts, people like jimi hendrix, bruce lee, hitler, churchill, ghandi, and many more... became immortal in people's memory, whether it is because they are too good or too 'evil', only the ones who have overwhelmingly more skills or luck than ordinary men can achieve this however.... so... being an ordinary man such as myself, the only thing happens is that u live through ur life, then u die.... but there is always some way anybody will suffer... the only difference is how u deal with it, face it with a grin or hide behind all the bad feelings and do nothing but complaining or blaming on the bad lucks?? personally i should prefer to just laugh about it and get on with the problems and if the problem gets worse... tough luck.... just get on with the worse shit and see how it turns out...
sometimes whether u feel extremely shit or ok about some shits is more of a choice....
and the choice is yours.... |
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